Kathy

Well, the day has come for me to do one of most difficult things in my life. This month we were to have done a little extra celebrating of our milestone birthdays * because who knew how many we would reach together. But it is the most important day because there is not enough praise that I can give Kathy to celebrate her Life. My heart is broken deeper and wider than the Grand Canyon. Kathy was a great wife and friend but more than that a great human being. We have received many endearing stories of her impact which are quite something for us to cherish forever.  Everyone coming today says a lot about Kathy’s impact on others, but it also says a lot about each of you for coming and celebrating Kathy’s life and I thank each one of you.

Kathy and I have been together in some degree for over 50 years. For those that don’t know we were childhood neighbors (3 houses between). When she was 18, she started hanging around when my friends were over, and I realized then she was a great and fun person to be around (and my friends and brother did too but no competition). * Knowing how Kathy was raised she was destined to be a great lady. So yes, In November 1973 they accused me of robbing the cradle.

Kathy always had integrity and was a very hard worker all her life. Whether it was at home, work or in hers or our businesses she always gave 100% and a lot more. We had some great times, some typical times and some regrettable times but Kathy always tried to be true to herself and do the best for family and friends. Over the years we had a very interesting lifestyle between work and pleasure. But Kathy was superior at going with the flow and very good using her GOD given talents to make every decision workable.

Background of her life: Franklin Park (Childhood); Bensenville (first house, and did a novel thing got married before moving in together, Adam); Naperville (2^nd house, KL&D started (a fabulous designer and seamstress – Range of ability pretty much unlimited), Market Medows (first candy store, Kathy ran it all, what were we, you, or I thinking); 5^th Avenue Station (2^nd & 3^rd candy/Party & toy store, divorce, property management); Daughter in Law Jen/Grandparents for Noah (Who you will hear a lot more about!!); Naperville (TH, back together (New beginnings); Hawaii (vacation, great friends, remarried, work, pleasure and a lot of flying); Naperville Farmers Market (25 years or so Kathy made it one of best in Illinois, still is and run by another great friend from Illinois Anna); Arizona (settling down, retired (so to speak), some very great years and just doing life together in one place.

Kathy by far, in so many ways, is the best wife I could have ever hoped for, and I really loved. There is no arguably in that statement! My loss is enormous and frankly hard to comprehend. But I know where she is, and I have and will probably continue to feel her presence daily, whether good or bad, I will love it and gladly say YES DEAR I remember! It will probably take more than once since my nano second brain is now permanent. I credit her with getting me through some tough medical issues and keeping me alive. She was the best doctor you could have. But she did make me listen to her and if I didn’t it was very simple “suffer”! (By the way babe I’m taking my special vitamins) * When she was right about something she was not a “told you so person” she would just say “Well how do you feel now”. When she passed, I felt better than I have in years. To be honest when I knew we were finally going to be together 24/7 365 again I feared what was going to happen to my gourmet eating style. Another stupid thought Kathy even made that transition enjoyable.

Kathy approached life in a caring and loving way, so it is no surprise she was a very special person who touched so many. I know many of you have had the opportunity to be a part of that gift she had. She has impacted family, friends and neighbors literally coast to coast and I don’t mean west coast I mean Hawaii. She loved caring for people and did a lot of helping family and friends needing assistance. (Infint to 103 or pets she’d be there if needed.)

I want to Detail a few things that had a big impact on Our years in Arizona which helped make the last several years very special.

In 2017, a few days before Christmas Eve we got a post card from Carefree Church inviting us to Christmas Eve services and she said I really want to try this church and get involved again. I think we were going to her sister Judy’s home for Christmas Eve, and I said great we can go to church before going there. So, after the service we together looked at each other and said what do you think, and we said we had just found our new church home! He talks so fast we will learn twice as much in half the time! It has just made such a difference in our life again! It set the stage for really getting involved and doing a lot for others.

Because of how she enjoyed life Kathy especially loved being a part of her church small group. * They are some incredible very loving ladies! They have been there for me, and I feel their prayers daily and even they know I need a lot.

When Kathy made a commitment to someone, or something I Learnt not to question it. We made some big woodworking commitments, and she would just say you’ll figure it out and we’ll do it together (and she meant together every step of the way). There were also little things she enjoyed. Every Sunday she would say good morning to Bob & Bob no matter where they were placed as greeters that day. She was just a happy person doing that.

There are many things that have spoken volumes to me about how Kathy loved, but there are three that stand out to me and highlight it.

First, when she agreed to be God mother for Kinsey, she took that very seriously, I don’t believe there was a holiday or birthday day or other special day she did not recognize her in some way. In fact, there was a birthday card sitting on our counter for close to a month and I asked her who that was for and she said Kinsey’s birthday. Well, Kathy passed before sending it, but I sent it because who could not share her love. Kinsey is now 7 and here today with her mom Haley who Kathy hired when she managed 5^th Ave Station, and they became good friends.

Second, when our church was under construction members had the opportunity to write anything they wanted on floors or walls before they were covered. Kathy many times would draw a heart and write the names Adam, Jen, and could do nothing wrong Noah and we think he poops gold. One time I asked why she kept doing that and she said my hope One day they may all be here with us. Well today is the second time since she passed! God does work in mysterious ways. But another way ***

Third, she made a commitment in the last few years to read the bible. Every day she got up at 5:00 or 5:30 to do that and do the things she needed to get done so we could do our day together. Her preparation for the day ahead was so important that Kathy would get up every day no matter how she felt. We really enjoyed playing and working together, as she would say, harder than when we were working but loving it!

These three stand out to me because they show her committed love for family, friends and GOD but she loved many people. There are probably a thousand little things she has done or said that illustrate what a great loving person she is.

As many of you know she suffered most of her life not being able to hear, back issues and most resent her knees and hands. She never complained and would just figure out how to work around the problem. * I know for sure, no doubt she got that from her dad. Roy for much of his life figured out how to work around his disabilities and, I believe, better than some without his problems. The day she passed, she even came out to the garage with her walker to try and help me with our woodworking project but couldn’t. I wish I had just quit for the day to spend our last few hours together but who would have ever thought it was the Lord’s time for her. And the last person she talked to, just hours before she passed was her golden grandson NOAH who she had not talked to in months. The lord’s work again! We had dinner and that was it.

 I will do what I can to continue with some of our plans. I know that is what she would want, and I know she will encourage me as Kathy always, always has. We have built a great group of close friends all here today and a church family which is helping us get through this. Babe, I miss you so much and I will do my best not to mess things up so I will see you again. I may be lost but just prepare our place because some day I’m coming! *

Hello all, you probably have heard about me as the grandson who can do no wrong, but don’t worry you won’t catch me up here casting any stones.

I’d like to thank you all for coming, showing your support, and for submitting all your stories about how my grandmother impacted your life.

It means so much getting to see how she made an impact on others when the impact she had on my life alone is immeasurable.

I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for my Mima. Whether it was picking me up from school, watching me when my parents couldn’t or taking me to do something fun she always pushed me to be the best I could be. From encouraging me when I was doing something I enjoyed to correcting/teaching me when I would say or do something naughty, and as a mischievous only child there were plenty of those situations. Now I’m not saying I’d be a delinquent, but I sure wouldn’t approach the world with as much kindness or patience if it wasn’t for her. She was truly an inspiration to me with how she never let anything deter her from doing what she wanted to do. It also gives me a hint of where at least some of my stubbornness comes from.

Then you’d meet my grandpa and realize “oh there’s the other half.” I’ll never forget all the trips to Hawaii, the swimming on the beaches, her laughing recording me and Grampy on the paddleboard, and something my parents will never forget, her buying me the first game of thrones book for the airplane ride because she wasn’t aware of the content, but hey I mean it was a good book until my parents wouldn’t let me finish it. Jerks. She really would have done anything as long as it put a smile on my face.

Speaking of putting smiles on faces, I’ll also never forget all the times we would cook and bake together, and she would just be wearing the biggest grin because she was getting to share something she really cared about and enjoyed with her grandson. I wish I could have understood how much those moments meant to her and would mean to me back then.

Now as I got older she never stopped, it was my fault we spent less time together being a stereotypical angsty teen. Yet despite my crap attitude at times she was still always there for me, recording every one of my hockey games she could be at, still inviting me to make holiday cookies or just grab lunch for a chat. Her effort never dwindled.

She was essentially my third parent, being there for me whenever my parents needed her to be. The majority of traveling I’ve done in my life has been with her. Obviously our trips to Hawaii, but also when she came with us to Disneyworld, or when we first went to Ireland and we talked about how she thought the grinch was German and how apparently they kept lepers in Alcatraz. She was always a great travel companion as her curiosity never faded, she was always interested and asking questions. To my parents’ dismay, I have also always enjoyed asking questions. But I will never let my curiosity die because that is one way she will live on in me.

As you heard earlier, I got to talk to her on the phone hours before her death which I am so thankful for. I just can’t stop thinking about how I could have talked for longer. Why did the conversation have to end when it did? I had called her after I had just gotten my first tattoo, an ouroboros, which if you aren’t familiar with is a snake or dragon eating it’s own tail. To me it symbolizes that the end and the beginning are 2 sides of the same coin. The circle of life, rebirth. One door doesn’t close without another opening. I’ve been scared to live my life for a while now but with the last things we talked about and the timing of everything, I can’t help but think that this is invitation or even a warning that I need to stop being afraid and just live.

In all seriousness, I could not have asked for a better grandmother in my life and I just wish I could have appreciated her more while she was still with us. So I guess her last lesson for me is that life is short and you need to make the most of it with those you care about, don’t let it slip away. And as she would end a lot of our calls “Don’t be a stranger.”

Where do I begin? Kathy was a business woman, community organizer, wife, mother, grandmother, but to me she was my sister.

We come from a large family and an enormous extended family. Our parents hailed from the Depression era WWII generation, were married in 1945, and spawned 10 children; 7 sons and 3 daughters. Kathy was born 7/25/1954 the 6^th child and 2^nd daughter. I was the 10^th child and 3^rd daughter.

Connie, our eldest sister was the first daughter after a string of 4 boys. As the story goes, Connie was part tomboy, always trying to keep up with the boys, but when Kathy came along, all red hair and curls, she was the princess. The boys could play rough and tumble with Connie, but Kathy was the sister they doted on. Bob, one of our older brothers, is here today and can probably expound on the family stories of Kathy’s younger years.

 After 3 more boys, I joined the family. Connie and Kathy, who were 14 and 12 when I was born, became my sister guardians and I their living/breathing dress-up doll.

In our family, Kathy was one of the quiet ones, and by that, I mean quiet in spirit. She was tolerant, accepting, and empathetic. One of the earliest examples of her tolerant nature was when Chuck, our brother who is just Kathy’s junior, was a baby. Mom often described young Chuck as ornery and she often told of one day finding Chuck yanking Kathy’s hair. Of course, mom reprimanded Chuck but with her hair twisted in Chuck’s tiny hand and tears streaming down her face, Kathy admonished mom because Chuck was “just a baby”. When I was little, I found a pair of scissors and chopped off a pigtail (pigtails that Kathy had probably crafted that same morning); Kathy was the one that cried. As adults, though Kathy could never actually remember her own age, she was good at remembering our sibling’s birthdays. Somehow, she and I got into a 3-way happy birthday wishing contest with our brother Mickey. Mickey is #9 in our family and lives in FL. If she beat me to the happy birthday wishing, she was certain to tell Mickey to relay to me that she won. The race ended only after Kathy, ignoring time zones, started making obscenely early phone calls. I caved and told her she won!

Connie, Kathy, and I became an island of sisters among our sea of brothers. We were sometimes similar, and other times polar opposites, but we shared a bond. Our sisterly stories are those that are the most prevalent in my memories so I hope to honor Kathy with a few of my favorites within some running themes.

Hair – Kathy’s hair was long, thick, red, and straight; except it wasn’t. Long, thick, red, and beautiful, yes, but straight, absolutely NOT. In her baby picture she was a cute little curly redhead and those curls did not go away simply because of the Brady Bunch style du jour. Nope, Kathy sacrificed sleeping comfort nightly to wage war against her curls. 3 beer-can sized curlers were meticulously placed every night – 2 parallel to her center part on the top of her head and bookended in the back with another curler placed perpendicular. The 3 of us girls shared a bedroom and Kathi and I shared a bed. I remember being reminded of Mickey Mouse every time I rolled over to face her and looked straight at 2 of those 3 curlers.

In our adult years another hair based sisterly bond formed – the love of a good hair colorist and the embracing of our curls! In the genetic lottery, Kathy and I both took after our dad. He was a wonderful man, but we definitely could have done without the early onset grey! Kathy was brilliant at cultivating her colorists – her daughter-in-law Jen, in IL, and my daughter Tarin, in AZ. Family ties ensured her frequent color appointments could be met regardless of her state of residence. 

Fashion – While Kathy was a master seamstress, my proficiency lies in shopping malls. I will be ever thankful for the fashion sense she brought to my childhood homemade and hand-me-down wardrobe. While Connie and Kathy both sewed a slew of my clothing, I’d have to say Kathy is the one who brought the fashion. In particular, I remember a spectacular green plaid vest and matching elephant bells, also a bright orange pair of polyester pants. While some of the young’uns’ here today may wince, I can assure you, in the 70’s that was high stylin’! All courtesy of Kathy’s sewing prowess.

When Kathy and Bill were first married in November 1973, Kathy chose velvet bridesmaid dresses. Connie was her maid-of-honor and I was her flower girl. Mom was having trouble fitting me with black dress shoes and was relaying the struggle to our aunt (wink-wink depression era). Aunt Margy solved the dilemma lickety-split. “Just dye a pair of Keds! I even have an old pair you can use. They’ll be too big for her, of course, (I was 7) but you can just stuff the toes with newspaper.” I can still recall Kathy’s look of abject horror! Needless to say, my flower girl outfit was soon complete with a cute little pair of black mary-jane’s. Thanks, but NO thanks, Aunt Margy!

As a teen, Kathy came to my rescue again. Designer jeans were all the rage, but of course, mom scoffed at the idea of spending the requisite money so I could have Jordache splayed across my backside. As luck would have it, Kathy had just purchased some fancy new sewing machine for specialized stitching and next thing I knew, I had an EXCLUSIVE pair of Kathi (with an “i” and a heart to dot it) designer denims. I wore those jeans until they were threadbare.

When my wonderful husband, Marc, proposed to me, a girlfriend and I got busy drawing my dream wedding gown. With our design complete, she laughed and said, “Now all you have to do is find it!” I replied that it was no problem at all, because I had Kathy! The fact that my own personal seamstress lived in IL and I in AZ was not an issue. A couple of flights later, the muslin pattern was complete, and my next trip was for my final dress fitting. As a side project, Kathy masterminded some balloon-craft for our wedding – an entry arch and large heart. She even wrangled siblings, nieces and nephews to put it together in the hotel room the night before. She also made sure we had the exact right guest book and champagne flutes for our special day. Unbeknownst to me she did all of this while suffering from intense back pain and shortly thereafter she needed to have back surgery. She wanted everything to be perfect for us. To this day, 34 years later, I still cannot comprehend how she did it, suffering as she was, but knowing she did still warms my heart and makes me smile. That was just her, my sister!

After Kathy and Bill moved to AZ, whenever any of my kids dreamed up some complex sewing project, the motto became “Call Aunt Kathy”. (They probably all just repeated that phrase with me.) As a wildland firefighter, our son Alec had a specialized pair of uniform pants that needed some altering. These were not just cotton or denim pants, these were seriously industrial. He brought them to me first but I took one look and said, you guessed it, “Call Aunt Kathy.” He did, and of course she had the tools and talent to get the job done. Her creativity was boundless, and we all knew it!

Children – Adam was her joy and Kathy was intent on providing him with the best of everything. He had a waterbed crib because she heard something like it was the best for his development and skeletal alignment. He was fed food that mimicked the 70’s burnt orange, avocado green, and gold. I thoroughly enjoyed being a young aunt and had plenty of nieces and nephews to play with. I was not a stranger to strained beans and peas when babysitting, but mashed avocado and papaya? As a young tween living in a Chicago suburb, I didn’t know anyone who fed their kids avocados and papaya? What the heck were avocados and papaya??? Well, Kathy insisted because they were super-nutritious in some way, shape, or form. At his first birthday, Kathy was furious when a particular uncle (name withheld to protect the almost-innocent) snuck Adam a few nibbles of birthday cake. Although neither Kathy nor Bill found it to be particularly amusing, many of the rest of us sure did! Hopefully, that wound has healed over now and I didn’t open a can of worms here today, but I can tell you one thing for sure… Adam did NOT object one bit to that cake! In spite of all this, or maybe because of it, Adam grew into a fine man with a family to make him proud.

Fast-forward 20 years, when our children were young, Aunt Kathy owned a candy store. Unlike Adam’s super nutritious youth, our children were mailed BOXES of candy, treats, and designer toys on the reg! Boy how the tables turned. When I mentioned the complete ideological switch-a-roo to her, all she ever did was giggle!

The heart song she played for Adam increased ten-fold with the appearance of Noah. She enjoyed every moment of the grandma (or should I say Memaw) life. Noah and our youngest, Quinn, were born a mere 6 months apart so Kathy made it her mission that the two should share childhood memories. Kathy visited AZ often with Noah in tow. She would watch, revel in, and celebrate their every game and giggle. She introduced arts and crafts and remarked about the fun they were having. She was in Memaw mode. I, however, was still very much in Mom mode and while sure, they were cute, and having fun, and yada, yada, yada. Now there was also a mess to clean up!! As Noah grew, Kathy would share details of school, hockey, driver’s license, new car, and college. You name it, she was his cheerleader.

I know that our kids also occupied a very special place in Kathy’s heart. She cheered their successes, ignored their failures, and laughed at their foibles. As an adult, our daughter Tarin developed a special relationship with Aunt Kathy while tending to Kathy’s hair. Between both Kathy’s and my busy and work laden schedules, Tarin became our conduit and communication source. I’m so very glad our daughter got to really know her in that special way. I know she will miss her Aunt Kathy terribly!

Jewelry – One of my most pervasive memories of Kathy is when she, Connie, and I divided up our mom’s jewelry after her passing in 2005. The three of us shared stories, tears, laughter, and our best bartering skills. Mom had a mother’s ring consisting of birthstones of all 10 children. She always wore it and it was as much a part of her hands as was her wedding ring. I remember looking at that ring when I was little and feeling sorry for the 2 children who had the light red rubies because mine was garnet and so luxuriously dark red.

When we were going through Mom’s jewelry Connie expressed her wish for mom’s mother’s ring. Kathy had her eye on a necklace and earring set that our dad purchased for mom as a gift just prior to my wedding. In later years, dad completed the set for mom by buying a coordinating bracelet. The set was ruby and diamond. Kathy argued that she should get the set because ruby was her birthstone, after all. I countered with the fact that they were bought as a gift for my wedding and the purchase of the bracelet actually involved some seriously covert activities for dad and I to pull off the surprise for mom. In the end, we agreed that Kathy would get the necklace and earrings while I would get the bracelet. From that day forward, there was never a gathering when Kathy didn’t needle me about the fact that I should really give her the bracelet because it would complete her set. To which I always countered that if she wanted the set reunified, she could simply hand over the necklace and earrings and I’d be happy to wear the trio. The banter always ended in laughter because the truth was that each of the 3 of us was happy that the jewelry and cherished memories were shared and so meaningful for us all.

With Kathy gone, now, I feel like we personify that broken set of jewelry. She was and always will be my cherished sister. I miss her terribly but know that we will someday be together again. For now, she is reuniting with the rest of our family who has gone before her. Probably sharing a laugh, a story, and a really good glass of wine. Cheers, Kathy, you were taken from us much too soon! Thank you for the indelible imprint that will remain in my heart forever. I miss you, sis!

Today, Kathy would have turned 70 years old. Some people come into our lives and quickly go, some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same. Kathy left huge footprints on my heart, My life was better because of Kathy.

We met Kathy and Bill over 25 years ago. We had vacation rentals on Maui and we received a call from a frantic booking agent we worked with stating they had booked this couple at a location and somehow it got double booked. He asked if we could take them…. we were able to accommodate them and there was an immediate connection. The first morning after they checked in, I was getting up and heard a noise out by our pool, there was Bill cleaning our pool…I was mortified and told my husband, oh my word the guy we checked in last night is cleaning our pool, (we usually cleaned it every morning ) however, he beat us to it. I made mention to Kathy and apologized. She responded, Oh please let him do it, he needs something to do and Iam going shopping. After that incident, when Kathy wanted to go shopping she would ask me to find something for Bill to do…and I did. (I bet you didn’t know that Bill ) We laughed about this for years.  After that initial visit to Maui, Kathy and Bill came to stay with us every year for 3 weeks in January. One special year, Bill and Kathy remarried on our front lawn.

 Kathy was still managing at Fifth, a commercial and residential complex in Naperville, Illinois, she wore a pager all day everyday and during the night. No matter what time they called her she answered and took care of the problem, I was amazed at her dedication even while on vacation. She founded and loved running the Farmers Market at 5th as well. Prior to her working for Fifth, she and Bill had a candy store and a toy store at fifth. She spoke very fondly of that time.

 Some of you may not know the extent of the excellence in everything Kathy set out to do. She was an amazing seamstress. She also took classes in upholstery, the learning and research she did on anything she had interest in was amazing. Everything she put her mind to was beyond superior. Kathy was incredibly smart. Her favorite pastime was designing and making bedspreads and pillows. They were so beautiful and total perfection. She even made her daughter in law Jen’s wedding dress.She was very interested in Holistic health, she learned so much about supplements and homeopathic remedies. She strived to keep herself and Bill in good health. Whenever Bill needed help on a project he was working on, she was right out there in the garage to help him. Many of you know Kathy had hearing loss, she researched every possible way to bring her hearing back for many years. It was not long ago she underwent surgery for an hearing implant, it finally helped her. We were so happy for her, our last days with Kathy were that she could actually hear us. We were so thrilled for her.

 While we were visiting I asked to borrow some shampoo and conditioner… Kathy gave me the two and without my glasses in the shower I couldn’t tell which was which, the shampoo seemed a little thick but I used it anyway, it didn’t rinse very easy either… when we got ready to leave I handed the two bottles back to her. The next day after we got home Kathy called me to apologize she had given me facemask for shampoo… I don’t recommend trying it! However, we had a great laugh about it.

I have never met a person who ironed their bedsheets…. Kathy did….!

For as many years as I have known Kathy, I didn’t know she had natural curly hair, really curly hair. She always styled it straight… I was shocked when we visited a few years ago, I asked her if she had a perm…. she replied no this is my Covid hair…. I let it go natural!  I loved it and loved that she called it her Covid hair!

Kathy absolutely adored her family, Bill ,their son Adam, Daughter in law Jen and her precious grandson Noah, he had stolen her heart. She was the best “Mema”! Her eyes always lit up speaking about any of them. She always shared photos and was so proud of their accomplishments. Kathy also had a very special God Daughter, Kinsey. She took her role very seriously, little Kinsey couldn’t have had a better God Mother.

Kathy was so special, so kind, so sweet and one of the best friends I have ever had. We always had so much fun together. And I knew she would do anything for me. She always made me feel so important and that she was truly interested in our lives and our children and grandchildren.

Kathy had a deep faith in God, she loved this church so much. Thank you to all of you who made her feel welcome and part of a church family.

Every morning when I make my bed I always think of her, yes, she made my bedspread and pillows. They are beautiful.

Kathy was an absolute angel on earth and I will miss her for the rest of my life. Aloha my dear friend. I love you sweet lady.  A Hui Hou (Until we meet again) I Love You Kathy

Love Janna

Ok mom… I’m here…at…church…with Jen and Noah…and as a bonus amusement for you…you have me public speaking IN FRONT of the congregation. You can come out now, jokes over!

I wish it were that easy……maybe she can ask that Jesus guy while she’s up there what the trick is.

Before we get started on this journey together…a few tactical items and level setting of expectations just so we’re all on the same page:

1. I HATE public speaking. I hate it more than anything except maybe brussel sprouts. I get that from my dad. Makes me uncomfortable and sweaty and I talk too fast. Apologies in advance if we need a mop after this. Could be sweat or tears, likely both
   
   
2. I tend to use humor to lighten the mood as best as possible…Even when we’re going through one of the saddest things I’ve ever gone through in my life. If anything comes across as humor at the wrong time, I apologize in advance. I also think if humor offends you in general…from what I’ve experienced here the last few months, you’re in the wrong church because I love how much humor is part of the conversation so keep doing you Paster Dwight
   
   
3. When I get uncomfortable and nervous, swearing can become my second language. It was pretty much how we grew up until my mom fixed my dad…she did not get a chance to fix me. I promised my dad I would do my best not to embarrass him and swear in church and I will try and live up to that….but…For a backstop…Noah, can you do me a favor and keep a “virtual” swear jar count going please…..Pastor Dwight…I assume there is some swear to tithing converter we can use at the end of this to true up? …. There’s probably an “app for that” these days?

That being said…back to the program……

I do live with a bit of regret that we didn’t make the effort my dad eluded to, to come to church atleast once for her while we were all together. I was unaware of that story unfortunately until after she passed and wish I had made different decisions. We always assume we have more time. Thankfully, atleast my wife proved once again why she’s the better half of OUR relationship and did make the journey once while my mom was still here…I do still want to cut up a few of these floors to see what she wrote but as my dad noted, he would likely have to fix them if I do.

I did make MY first journey to this community they love so much the Sunday after my mom passed, which happened to be Mother’s day of all days….so needless to say, my mental state was….a bit….lets call it fragile but trying to hold it together for my dad as…let’s call his mental state…a bit of a dumpster fire 🙂 I was extremely impressed with the messaging, approach and even the way they acknowledged my moms passing in a way that they showed support over just sympathy for what we needed to get through it so thank you Paster Dwight, Trish and your family and everyone that is part of the church for that comfort in that moment

Dad…what else can I say, except that you did it! …You made it through this…you did her proud and while “we are not ok…everything is going to be alright”. It’s been a long 2 and a half months and an even longer last month of us living living together. THANK GOD!… My mother had the foresight when you bought your house to know we’d never visit unless I had a separate air conditioner from you. Who in their right mind thinks 89 is a reasonable home temperature and 84 is “turned down”?!? We also need to make sure going forward we figure out a few of mom’s meals she used to make you vs. us eating out constantly. I’m not sure if I should fly home or JOG back to Chicago after the last month

You know….You referenced her hearing issues which I know for many people that only knew her at a glance didn’t fully understand how much that impacted her life and with how much grace she dealt with it, and fought through it and ultimately was a champion for others with similar issues wherever she went.

She was SOOOO happy in your more recent years how much you fully understood that and supported her at restaurants and really anywhere that you could recognize would be a challenge for her.

She TRULY believed that EVERYONE should be heard in life, however possible.

Noah…great job bud! Your Mima and Grampy love you more than anything! One counter view from myself and your mother…however…as the ones who usually clean your bathroom toilet….it’s definitely NOT gold

For those that knew my mom, growing up “Adam” was always the most important person in her life once I arrived. So it’s fitting that when Noah arrived…not long after that, everyone would keep mixing us up and calling him Adam and me Noah. Even MY OWN PARENTS, still to this day.

Look….No offense to Noah, the man with the big boat and “2 by 2 animals”…but ADAM…“first man on earth”?…that’s pretty hard to beat so congrats on taking the crown Noah, aka Adam.

It’s also fitting that our birthdays are the same day so we could all celebrate you on MY day. Honestly though…I’m happy not aging anymore so you can have it 😁. I love you bud and I’m so sorry for YOUR loss and thank you so much for your words here today and all your support of me and Grampy.

Judy / Fam…As you heard from Judy earlier, my mom is number 6 of 10 children and Judy is #10. We knew my mom loved large families so much obviously because I’m an ONLY child, ironically raising another only child. Mortensen family reunions were 100-200 people, the Reed’s…let’s call it….a little less. So with all that selection available to us, why did we ask Judy to speak today as the youngest of the family?

First off, as you may have seen from the pictures, with the age difference, Judy was mostly my mom’s favorite doll, so we naturally had to include her but what many don’t know and what she’ll never let on…Judy as the youngest was the ONLY child picked up and moved from Illinois to Arizona when my Grandparents moved. I’m sure she had tough times leaving all her siblings, friends and life she knew but Grandpa’s health required the move and at NO POINT, in all the time we visited or spoke with her did she ever complain.

Judy became the defacto Matriarch of the Mortensen clan when my grandparents passed so close together. She navigated their affairs both before and after their passing with such calm and grace and I know my Mother respected you SO MUCH for everything you did for your parents and the family. I only hope to be 1/10th of what you were in those moments while navigating this loss so THANK YOU again for taking that on and my MOM loves you, appreciates you and is amazed by you.

And for you and the other Mortensen’s in the crowd today. Thank you for sneaking me my own birthday cake on MY birthdays as my mom’s healthy living started long before it was cool. I wasn’t allowed sugar as a kid but then for some reason they opened a candy store. I had limited toys so that I would be outside and playing, so they opened a toy store…but despite all that, I knew I’d be stronger for it all. This included surviving a WATERBED crib…seriously…that was a thing…for an infant just learning to rollover, let’s also test if he has the survival skills not to drown in his own bed.

So much of the way I grew up though with the stores and having to manage myself at home while they worked countless hours to give us the life we had, made me who I am today. My first “marketing” gig at 12 years old designing gift certificates for the candy store on the old 286 computer with Harvard Graphics… turned into me creating all our media for the toy store newpaper ads and desiging websites that I still love as a side hustle.

More work at the store turned into my “junior accounting degree” helping my mom run back office payroll and accounting at the toy store and ultimately got me a job with the company that sold the Point of sale software as an IT technician that then lead to the amazing careers i’ve had the last 24 years through the people I met there.

I received more of my education in customer service, systems and respect for all people than I ever could have learned in school because of her. Mom was my best teacher ever… and more so….gave me the skills to continue to teach myself with the tools provided without fear of messing up. Any “FAIL”,… and my dad can attest…was truly just the First Attempt In Learning with her and for THAT I am forever greatful and carry her forward in any of my successes. She always reinforced the self-belief that “you’ll figure it out”

So that’s a bit of the family time and space….

Janna… I know you were a bit of a late add to the speaking program today and I know there are many others here today that would love to speak today as well. I’ve seen it in all of the stories you submitted to the website we setup, the texts, the emails, the calls and the many pictures you shared that are reflected here today. We will be keeping that memorial site up and expanding it to include everyones shared stories and pictures in order to keep her memory alive. Please see my dad or myself for any details on that.

But back to Janna…thank you and Richard for being such a big part of what I refer to as their reboot into version 2.0 of their lives together #technerd. I think it’s been the best version of them the last 25 years.

I like to credit myself and one of my best friends growing up, Luke as the spark to that reboot. At the time we were looking to buy our first house at 20 years old and they started talking to each other again, mostly trying to evaluate if we were crazy or actually had our stuff together at our age.…..but if getting them talking about us was the spark, you and Hawaii and your friendship with them was the gasoline on the fire. Thank you for all you did for my dad while he was out there. Thank you for being an amazing friend to my mom. Thank you for enjoying Noah when he would come out there with Mima to visit Grampy…Side Note…that kid has been to Hawaii atleast 5 times while Jen and I have been ONCE. Who else wants to be Noah when they grow up? 🙂

At this point, I’ve probably been up here longer than I should be and I know following me is a wonderful lunch prepared for us so just a few final thoughts…

My mom was the worlds most adaptable and easy going person. No matter what role she had, mother, wife, grandmother, mother-in-law, godmother, friend, sister, daughter, etcetera…she managed ALL of them with full participation, engagement and with a level of effort and empathy that was second to none.

My dad and I feel a bit backwards as we stand here today. We had more plans for my dad to go first and honestly, probably more plans for me to go first with many of my bad habits over the years. But I do know one thing, the fact that she went first…if there is a god…it means he has truly been paying attention and knows there is no way in heck, he wanted to be dealing with my dad OR me without her so he needed to make sure she could get everything prepared for our reunion… hopefully no time soon. AND…Dad…this means she WILL be watching to ensure you don’t mess up, all the great things she did for you, your health and your amazing community you guys made together.

Now is your time, to carry her legacy and hard work forward, and I know, as we turn the page on this chapter of our lives today, you can do it! Because you and her truly were a team. We move forward with her as our North Star …, on how we stay positive and a guiding light on how to make a positive impact on the people and things around us.

I leave you with this quote from Dr. Suess…(remember I didn’t do college and barely made it through high school so I had to keep the reading material at my level)

Don’t cry because it’s over….Smile because it happened.

Mom…we miss you, we love you, we know you are watching over us….don’t be a stranger!

Thank you all!